officialunitedstates:

me at the club picking up girls:  hey how are you doing.  I would ask for your number but I already know it.  you’re #1.  I’ll call you later

dad-chan:

coming out of the closet? no. i’m coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because i want it all

nottwilightbella:

emmajjjayne:

i wish that there were more hours in a day and boys were nice and bread didnt make you fat

image

incompleteicarus:

Do you ever ‘wtf white people’ even though you are a white people.

bombing:

dantheman2033:

bombing:

if you’re on the sun then sun dried tomatoes are just tomatoes

Wouldn’t they just be dried tomatoes, because they are still not normal tomatoes

i just googled this and turns out there aren’t any tomatoes on the sun so it looks like we’re both wrong but more importantly you’re wrong

youthxcrew69:

THIS IS A CAT IN A HALLOWEEN COSTUME PLAYING WITH A TINY PUMPKIN THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT
girlyplugs:

new school year, new me

enattendantlesoleil:

me during classes

  • "that’s racist"
  • "that’s sexist"
  • "there are more than two genders"
  • "ok but could we maybe not use that word"
  • "that’s ableist"
  • "there aren’t enough girls in here"